


I'm Good, I'm Gone

by DolorousDoll



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DolorousDoll/pseuds/DolorousDoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>mem·o·ry  [mem-uh-ree]<br/>noun, plural mem·o·ries.</p>
<p>1.<br/>the mental capacity or faculty of retaining and reviving facts, events, impressions, etc., or of recalling or recognizing previous experiences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Good, I'm Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I don’t even know where the hell this idea came from. It just popped into my head and I wrote it all in one sitting. I have no Beta and I’m tired as all hell so sorry if there’s any mistakes or what not. Oh also I don’t know if the way I set it up is confusing or not so let me know if it is. Thanks guys. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this little piece and let me know what you think.
> 
> Much love
> 
> Dolorous Doll 
> 
> X

“Derek I don’t think this is a good idea.” Stiles shares as he paces restlessly, body casting a shadow across Derek’s living room floor.

“This is his decision.”  Derek replies though a huffed breath, he’s pretending to be unaffected but Stiles can tell otherwise, he doesn’t need to hear Derek’s heartbeat to know what he’s feeling.

“That’s bull and you know it. We have no idea what the repercussions of doing this could be. What if he flips out, you have no idea how much of an influence Scott has been on him.”

When Derek doesn’t reply Stiles stalks over to him footsteps loud and angry. “Hey are you even listening to me?” Stiles shouts as he slams shut the book Derek’s been pretending to read for the past ten minutes.  

“Yes I hear you Stiles but you have no idea what he’s going through.”

“What and you do?” Stiles snaps back.

Derek doesn’t reply just scowls. He doesn’t know. Not the full extent anyway. Isaac’s tried his hardest to mask his scent, to hide his emotions but anytime Derek does manage to catch a whiff of it, his wolf howls in frustration and anger because his Beta is hurting. And it’s not even a physical ache they can dispel. Its emotional - it’s deep and hollow, festering and growing to the point that it’s becoming unbearable.

Derek takes the book back off of Stiles, opening it up to the same page it was on a minute ago.

“He’s in pain Stiles.  If you don’t want him to suffer you’ll stop protesting this idea.”

Stiles looks torn and oddly betrayed.

“That’s not fair.” He says heavily, and Derek knows it’s not. Stiles wouldn’t intentionally hurt Isaac but Stiles can be so damn stubborn when he wants to be and given half the chance he could probably change Isaac’s mind and Derek doesn’t want that. He just wants Isaac to stop smelling like pain and hurt all the time and if going along with this crazy idea of Isaac’s will do that then Derek’s willing to try.

“You should go, he’ll be here soon.” Derek informs, refusing to look up as Stiles leaves.

Just before he exits the loft door, he turns his head to the side, looks at Derek over his shoulder.

“I still think your making a mistake, and I think somewhere in that dumb brain of yours you know it too.”

He leaves before Derek can reply but in all honesty Derek doesn’t know what to say.

/

Falling in love with Scott isn’t slow or gradual. It’s like a car crash, a great tragedy; it’s quick and all encompassing, consuming to the point that Isaac feels like he’s going to combust with all of the feelings generating inside of him and he knows Scott can smell it on him, can sense it of course he can their together all the time, they live together for Christ’s sakes.  But Scott doesn’t push him away, doesn’t recoil from Isaac and his ridiculous crush. He treats him like he always has. Isaac can’t decide whether that makes it better or worse.

One rainy night they stay up late and play _Mortal Kombat_ and Scott bitches because Isaac manages to kick his ass at every round even when he’s the ridiculous four armed slow moving characters.  He doesn’t know how they even start confessing things but they do.

The games paused the ‘continue’ sign flashing rapidly but neither of them pays any attention.  Scott tells Isaac about how he wants to be a better son, a better friend a better everything and Isaac doesn’t even question it before he’s telling Scott that he’s already good, he’s the best. Scott laughs humourless and disbelievingly before telling Isaac that he’s the best too. Scott’s heart doesn’t skip once and Isaac feels a warmth curl up through his chest.

Isaac tells Scott about how he’s scared of dying because who isn't? It’s the unknown, it’s terrifying, there’s no knowing where you would go, where you would end up.  Scott says he believes that when you die you end up with your loved ones. Isaac wants to ask if Scott imagines seeing Isaac in his afterlife. He’s too scared too though, so instead he stays quiet just nods, fingers curling around the charger for his Xbox controller.  

It’s comfortable and it feels like pack, like safety, like home. They talk for so long the Xbox turns itself off. Isaac jumps slightly when the rooms clouded in darkness and before he can get up from the sofa to turn on the light Scott’s hand is closing around his wrist. Isaac looks at him, eyes trying to adjust to the lack of light.  Scott’s hold loosens before his fingers curl around and up, ghosting over Isaac’s pulse point, up the fleshy inside of his forearm before looping around the inside of his elbow.  Isaac shivers, closes his eyes and opens his mouth.

“Scott.”

“Can I...” Isaac hears Scott swallow.

Isaac nods, trying to fight the dryness of his own throat, his sweaty palms, the fast paced beating of his heart.

Scott kisses him and Isaac was wrong about before because this - _this_ is home.

/

It’s easy, but that’s the way it’s always been between them.  Isaac forgets when he’s with Scott. Forgets about the Apha pack, forgets about the Darach. They go out to the lake in the woods and Isaac shows Scott a large water cliff his mum used to bring him too. They spend the day doing back flips off of it, then Scott jumps onto Isaac’s back, hands wrapped around his shoulders and they hurdle off of the cliff together, Scott’s lips pressed against Isaac’s neck the entire time.

Day soon turns to night and they start a large fire at the top of the cliff. They make smores and Scott burns his marshmallow so Isaac makes another one for him. Their fingers are sticky with marshmallow and they stink of the dirty river water but it’s the best day Isaac’s ever had.  

They lie on their backs beneath the stars, their fingers curled together. After a while Scott rises up on one arm and looks down at Isaac.  He just _stares_ and Isaac can feel heat rising on his cheeks, flushing down to his bare chest.

“What?”

Scott just smiles at him, it’s playful but affectionate then he’s twisting his fingers around Isaac’s curls and kissing him.

That night Isaac loses his virginity. He remembers the soft pants of Scott’s breathe against his cheek and temple, the hot curl of hands under his thighs. He remembers being in love.

/

The thing about Scott and Allison, Isaac should have realised is that their always going to love each other, always. That type of connection doesn’t just burn away no matter how much hurts attached to it. Scott will always love Allison and no matter how much he says he cares about Isaac, she’ll always mean more to Scott than Isaac does.  

Isaac sees it when they talk at school, when Scott gets a text from her and he curls the phone closer to his chest, smiles down at the screen. Scott’s slipping from between his fingers and there’s nothing he can do.  He’s too afraid to bring it up so he pretends nothing’s wrong.  

He should have known Scott would be the one to confront him about it because Scott’s loyal and decent and he doesn’t string people along.  

He tells Isaac how he needs a break, that this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about him. When Isaac asks him if he still loves Allison Scott can’t answer but really that’s answer enough.

And it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

He feels betrayed and torn apart like someone’s carved open his chest, stabbed at his insides and shoved them back in but in all the wrong places.  And he knows he’s pathetic because Scott never promised it would be more than this, that it would last forever but Isaac had hoped that it would.  

He says he needs space and leaves, unaware of where his feet are taking him until he ends up at the old Subway station where his pack used to stay. Erica, Boyd himself and Derek. He sees the memories of them, the shadows of his old family. He cries, sobs rattling his chest as he sinks to his knees on the floor. He’s not sure how much time passes but he knows he’s un-alert because he doesn’t hear the steps approaching him until the person kneels down before him.

He flinches at the touch to his shoulder and with reluctance lifts his head from where it was cradled by his folded arms. Derek’s looking at him with a frown and when Isaac sobs the fingers around his shoulder tighten.

“It won’t stop.” Isaac tells him. “It hurts, god it _hurts_.”

Derek nods. “I know.”

/

Scott’s taking the stairs two at a time but he pauses when he hears shuffles from Isaac’s room. He frowns before taking light steps towards the room.

Scott pushes the door open and sees Derek standing over Isaac’s bed, shoving clothes into a duffel.

“What are you doing?” Scott questions.

“You’re not very good at sneaking up on people.” Derek informs without turning around.

Scott steps forward to take a look at what he’s doing. “Hey.” Scott says harshly, grabbing at the bag and dragging it over to himself. “This is Isaac’s stuff. Why are you packing his things?”

“Isaac’s moving back in with me.”  

“What...why?  He lives here.”

Derek sighs. “Not anymore.”

“I don’t understand.” Scott says, staring dumbfounded. Derek takes the opportunity to take the bag back and zip it up before hoisting it onto his shoulder.

“I need you to stay away from Isaac for a while.” Derek tells him and Scott’s heart ricochets against his rib cage before anger burns through him.

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you can’t – you can’t decide something like that.”  

Derek turns to him and for once he doesn’t look smug or superior, he looks exhausted. Like he did the day he told Scott to go home- to be a teenager.

“Trust me Scott, it’s for the best.”  

“You’re taking him away from me, how is that for the best?”  Scott asks because he _doesn’t understand._

“I’ve asked you once and I’ve asked you nicely. Don’t make me ask again because next time I won’t be so polite.”

Derek leaves. Scott texts Isaac and gets a message back saying the sending failed, when he tries to ring him it says the phone is no longer available.  And okay so fine Isaac doesn’t want to see him, Scott respects his decision. It doesn’t make it hurt any less though.

/

The ache in his chest is heavy; his upcoming decision a heavy burden. He knows what it entails, the loss of memories. Derek had been adamant on explaining it all, of letting Isaac know exactly what he’ll be taking away. Isaac nods and tells him he understands because he does. Of course he does. He’s asking Derek to take away his memories. It wasn’t an easy decision but it seemed like the only plausible one.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Derek asks again voice low and even, trying to stay neutral so his tone doesn’t affect Isaac.

“I’m sure.”  The teen says with an affirmative nod.

“You want all of them gone?” Derek asks and this time there’s more to his voice, it’s still low but there’s an insistent tilt to it as if he doesn’t want Isaac to do this. Like he thinks Isaac will regret it later on but if Isaac doesn’t remember there won’t be any room for regrets.

Isaac thinks of Scott’s smile, fine soft pink lips bracketing brilliantly straight white teeth. His hair, silky and dark, the strands smooth as they run through his fingers.  

“All of them.”  

Derek nods and unsheathes his claws, runs the sharpness of them over the back of Isaac’s neck. The teen stills, his breath catching. Derek doesn’t give him a moment to think, his claws pierce through skin and muscle as he searches for the memories, all of them and removes them.

Isaac makes a thick gagging sound like he’s choking on his tongue. Derek wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulls Isaac back against his chest and continues searching. When he finally reaches the memories he wonders if subconsciously Isaac tried to hide them from him because they’re in a secluded part of Isaac’s brain. He infiltrates them and begins taking them away. Piece by fragile piece.  Isaac forgets. Forgets that sweet smile, dimples crimping tan cheekbones, forgets those eyes that looked at him, with lust, with _love._  Forgets what it feels like to be so ready to die for someone, to give them everything that you are.

Isaac forgets Scott.

/

Stiles doesn’t like Isaac like this. It’s like a huge chunk is missing from his life and he’s so oblivious it feels _wrong._ Stiles doesn’t know if he’s still allowed to mention Scott. The details on the whole taking away the memories thing had been scarce and to be honest at the time Stiles hadn’t wanted to know the details because he was so damn angry about it. So he doesn’t talk about Scott to Isaac just in case it kick starts any memories but he can’t help but to think they did the wrong thing when Isaac steps over to the shelf of photos in Stiles’ room.

They’re about to go play lacrosse and Stiles is just throwing on his trainers but he pauses when he sees Isaac pick up a baby blue, rickety photo frame. Scott had made it for him in seventh grade. Its tacky as all hell, decorated with one too many nails and an absurd amount of glitter but he loves it, always has. Inside there’s a photo of himself and Scott, Stiles mouth is stuffed full with curly fries and Scott’s fingers are pulling at either side of his mouth, baring his teeth and tongue whilst his eyes are cross eyed.

Stiles watches as Isaac runs his thumb over Scott’s face.  Stiles clenches his jaw as nausea runs through him.

Isaac turns to him.

“Who’s this?” He asks and Stiles clears his throat loudly.

“My buddy Scott. You should meet him sometime, something tells me you and him would get along well.”

Isaac smiles, easy and light. “Yeah?” He asks and Stiles nods as he gets up off of his bed.

“Yeah. Now hop to it wolf boy, you’ve got a game of lacrosse to lose.”

Isaac places the picture down and snorts.

“Yeah like you could ever beat me Stilinski.”

/

 


End file.
